


Parlor Tricks

by chuwaeyo



Series: Parlor Tricks [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, LMAO, me: writes angst also me: who would do something like this :000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-05-31 12:56:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15119852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chuwaeyo/pseuds/chuwaeyo
Summary: Ignoring the own pain in your chest, you would protect that smile and your family no matter what.Review: "Im a slut for angst but god was that angsty."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> any plot holes aside I love angst and suffering so here we are now  
> aka Wanda deserves to be happy and maybe I should stop writing angst with her but I can't help it
> 
> the reader is some old forgotten deity that has been enjoying modern life as a SHIELD agent, and friend to the Avengers that can't stand by anymore.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm sorry Wanda, but in the grand scheme, what's a life of a prankster compared to half the universe? To you and Vision?" You turned around and felt the tears welling in your eyes and continued before she could, "a life spent knowing you, has been a life well spent."

It broke your heart to see the Avengers split up as they did, knowing the coming danger that would soon threaten life as all knew it. But you couldn't intervene, not yet at least.

You let them fight their little squabble over the Accords, and made sure to keep tabs on them when you slipped into the shadows, ready to give them as much help as you could provide for the coming battle.

Whether it was "leaking" where Wanda and the others were being held after the battle at the airport to Steve, or informing where Tony was left after his fight with Bucky and Steve to someone at SHIELD. You made sure to leave no trace that it was you, feigning to be a lost and confused SHIELD agent who had just lost half of their friends.

The sun would shine again on them all if it was the last thing you did.

One snap from your fingers and you were transported where you wanted to be in an instant, but for first-time passengers, the experience was far from pleasant, so you forced yourself to take the time to create and travel through portals, knowing that soon enough you'd be transporting many.

Countless portals made within the last few months had made you more used to the sensation, and focusing on Strange's aura, you opened another portal and appeared beside Strange, a grin on your face, happy to see him and his companions alive (albeit beaten and battered).

To say the man hated you would be a stretch, he was just constantly annoyed at your apparent lack of discipline and denying all offers he and the rest of the magic users gave to you. That, and your lopsided grin and pension for mischief.

Your first run-in with Stephen Strange was shortly after he became known as the Sorcerer Supreme when you appeared in the Sanctum looking for his old master to take out some bullet lodged in your torso. Despite being unable to die, bullets hurt just as much as the first time you were ever hit with one, especially because the one currently giving you trouble was too deep for you to reach in and pull it out yourself.

At the sound of footsteps, you turned around with a grin, "Finally, Daniel! You're usually much faster to greet me when I visit."

"How did you get in here?" A man, definitely not Daniel, glared at you, ready to fight, "How did you know Daniel?"

Another sorcerer outside of Daniel and Wong within the Sanctum? That could only mean you just interrupted business, or, no - you shook away the thoughts of them being dead, still clutching at your wound. "I just did, I'm a friend of Daniel and Wong, are they here? I need some help with something."

"Daniel is dead, Wong is probably on his way. Now how did you get in here, you didn't answer my question". His guard seemed to lower slightly, but his arms were still poised for a fight.

"(Y/N)!" You both turned to Wong's voice as he smiled and made his way over to lift you in a bear hug, which resulted in him quickly dropping you after you winced at the contact. "Don't tell me you're..."

You shot your friend a sorry smile before he helped pull the bullet from your body and cover the entrance with a bandage, "Thank you, my friend, I was halfway convinced I would bleed out here with your friend."

Wong took that as a signal to introduce the both of you, with Strange finally dropping his arms.

"Pleasure to make your acquaintance Stephen", you offered him a bloody hand and laughed as he rolled his eyes before shaking it, "I'm sorry to hear about Daniel. I assume he was your master or something? He was a good friend of mine, he and Wong have been dealing with me for as long as I can remember."

From that point on, you decided to make it your own personal quest to bother Stephen, hoping to make him crack a smile at least once.

After the first five times of Stephen trying to disorient you in the Sanctum, he had given up and has resulted to simply meeting your pranks with sarcasm to match whatever nonsense you caused.

You offered him a grin he hated so much, "I'm here to save you and the rest of the universe and you're still pissy at me? After everything we've been through Stephen?"

He rolled his eyes before acknowledging you, "Of course I had to see you before the end of half the universe."

"Don't trust me?" You raised an eyebrow as the rest of his companions began to gather around you when you noticed Tony and Peter with the group.

"What are you doing here (Y/N/N)? More importantly, how did you get here?" By the sound of Tony's voice cracking, you could tell he was certain that he thought he would never see you again.

"There's a lot I haven't told any of you, but I'm here to take you home for the final battle." You gave Tony and Peter a quick hug before introducing yourself to the Guardians, "Ignore Tony's lame nickname, I'm (Y/N), a person of many talents, and well...parlor tricks, as Strange likes to call them."

The Guardians shared a look before giving you a small wave or nod, or in Drax's case, a question. "Tricks?"

Stephen groaned knowing what was coming, "They are parlor tricks."

"If they were tricks, how could I do this?" You quickly pushed up your sleeves with a small grin, and snapped your fingers, a large bouquet of flowers from all across the universe appearing from your hand, before throwing it onto Strange's lap. "Or this?"

With another snap, a portal opened to Earth, you smiled and avoided Tony's and Peter's questioning looks, "All aboard the Beat Thanos Express".

"Even if we have a way home, how are we gonna fight Thanos, Miss (Y/N)?" Peter spoke up from his spot beside Tony, "I don't know about everyone else, but there isn't much of my web fluid left."

"Good thing I took the liberty to restock hmm?" With another snap, new gear appeared at the Guardians feet, the web fluid was filled, and Tony's nano-suit began to regenerate. And since Strange technically didn't need gear like the rest of them, you took the liberty of giving him a squeaky red clown nose (complete with tape on the inside so it doesn't fall off on accident).

"More parlor tricks", Stephen grumbled as he pulled the nose off with one loud squeak, and walked through the portal, quickly followed by the Guardians and Peter, all amazed at what you had done while Tony stayed beside you.

"I'm beyond grateful for the ride home and to see you again, but were you ever planning on saying something?" You didn't have to look over to know that Tony was staring.

You gave him a light pat on the shoulder and gave him a small smile before walking with him through the portal, "There's no good way to explain anything I can do or my past. Besides, I knew that you were all going to find out someday".

In the eyes of the Avengers, you were simply a close friend, and a part-time medic from SHIELD if Dr. Cho couldn't be called in or needed help. 

The team welcomed you with open arms, seeing you talk freely with Fury, defending one of Tony or Clint's most recent prank on the facility, reducing their punishment as much as you could. "Fury, they might see you as a hardass, but I know you have a soft spot for them, let it slide this one time. Didn't they just clear out a big, important Hydra base?"

Even without super soldier hearing, the team heard Fury let out a quiet groan, "They're lucky you're vouching for them, and you're lucky I still deal with you".

You let out a laugh, "Oh please Director, you, Maria, and even SHIELD would be lost without me and my many "parlor tricks" and charms".

"Okay you glorified magician, now shut it" Fury rolled his eyes (eye?), "Now act like a respectable agent before they walk in for the briefing."

You were glad that Fury and Maria both believed that the little abilities you showed them were the extent of your powers. Not digging much more since you had turned yourself into the secret agency on your own will, they accepted what you gave them and the little they could find on your current life.

For all they knew, you were a sorcerer similar to Doctor Strange, with much less "serious" training, so they accepted you into their forces and signed you on as a normal agent.

It was after Sokovia that you had met Wanda when you were called in along with Dr. Cho to help assess their injuries and get them on the road to recovery.

Together, you and the doctor quickly got through the Avengers' injuries, noticing a girl neither of you had recognized, until Natasha pulled you aside and explained the situation, hoping you could put a smile back on her face and help treat her.

You nodded and made sure to fortify your mind before walking up to her with a smile, "Hey there, I'm (Y/N) (Y/L/N), resident prankster and occasional medical aid for the Avengers, any injuries you want me to bandage or look over?"

She looked up and locked eyes with you for a few seconds before furrowing her brow, "why is your mind silent, why are you helping me?"

"Let's call it mindful thinking, and all I'm thinking about now is how I can help you", you put a hand on her arm, noticing her flinch at the touch before continuing, "I might not know you yet, but if my friends brought you back I know you're a good person okay? Now back to my first question, any injuries I can check?"

Her eyes never left yours, but she nodded and took off her jacket so you could bandage the arm you had touched earlier, and disinfect the cuts she had on her face, quickly pulling her jacket back on once you gave her the okay, "thank you, and my name is Wanda Maximoff."

"Well Wanda, now that you're all bandaged up, care to join everyone in the common area?" You took a few steps and looked back at her with a puzzled look, "at least, I'm assuming they're there, the first thing everyone does after a mission is order pizza." 

Wanda smiled at your kindness and followed you out of the Med Bay to the common area, already scattered with pizza boxes and half the Avengers still eating, and the other half knocked out on the couch.

"Feel free to get started on eating yeah? I'm gonna get these losers to sleep in their beds", you watched as she grabbed a slice and took a seat beside Natasha and Clint before rolling up your sleeves and getting to work to wake up Tony, Thor, and Steve.

After a few weeks with the Avengers, and your company, Wanda quickly warmed up to everyone and found a new home at the Compound much like its other occupants before her. In between your own missions, and acting as a doctor for your friends, you spent as much time as you could with her, helping her adjust to her new life. Accompanying her and Natasha on shopping trips after stealing Tony's cards and one of his cars, encouraging her to buy a new guitar, and even letting her and Natasha play dress up with you at the mall.

The embarrassment of it all was worth it if it meant you could make her feel safe and smile without a care in the world.

And if it wasn't a day for the town, you were there for her when she missed her brother more than usual, when she wanted a shoulder to lean on, when she needed someone to talk to about her budding feelings about Vision.

Ignoring the own pain in your chest, you would protect that smile and your family no matter what.

Your heart ached, thinking back at one of the many times you shared with the Avengers and her when you stepped through the portal with Tony.   
Just a second too late - spying Vision in Wanda's arms, you turned to see Thor stab Thanos in the chest, and quickly put the Titan under a suspension spell to prevent the snap that would've destroyed half the universe, with another snap to open a portal behind him.

"Well, now that the gang's back together, I do believe I have a Titan to topple", you paused after pulling Thor off of the Titan and avoided their eyes, looking only at Strange, "bring the rest of them back Stephen, when you can, you're going to need all the help you get against his legion."

The man saw something different in your eyes, eerily ancient and could only nod, knowing there was no stopping you.

Everyone felt it, whether it was the fear for the end of their own lives they had felt from the power emanating from Thanos or the acceptance you had for yours, no one could speak up against the weight of the universe anymore.

You took a step into the portal you had pushed Thanos in before Wanda's voice called out to you, still clutching onto Vision's lifeless body, "(Y/N) please, you're going to die. I- we've already lost too much."

"I'm sorry Wanda, but in the grand scheme, what's a life of a prankster compared to half the universe? To you and Vision?" You turned around and felt the tears welling in your eyes and continued before she could, "a life spent knowing you, has been a life well spent."

Soon after closing the portal you had used to transfer yourself and the Titan to some long forgotten part of the universe, you noticed his movements slowly coming back to life and watched as he realized the change in his surroundings.

"You're a fool. You're less of a sorcerer than Strange" Thanos laughed, finally breaking free from the suspension spell you had put on him, "there is no stopping me now."

"If you think I'm a fool, then you're in over your head", you let off bursts of energy towards the titan, concealing another trap to slow down the being, knowing he would easily dodge them. "I am no Sorcerer Supreme, no Avenger or Guardian - I'm nothing more than an old soul with a pension for parlor tricks, but I feel in the depths of my soul, I will finally have peace knowing I take you down with me."

The Mad Titan, even madder with the gauntlet, the stones, and its unimaginable powers laughed, at the impossibility of his defeat, "I heard what the sorcerer said, there is no winning for any of you. My victory is inevitable."

"Ah, here's what you don't understand, Strange refuses to consider me a variable in these many realities he sees." You almost felt bad for the man, who strayed from his path so long ago and snapped your fingers to activate the trap, indestructible chains wrapping around him, "I'm a wildcard you see. An old being too decrepit for any reliable data to follow. I try not to meddle so much with mortal affairs to keep up with the act. They used to call it a blessing you know...I saw Kane murder, I saw the cities in Greek and Rome fall, more wars on countless planets...a living history text meant to guide humanity and peace for the universe...I'm almost sorry I let you get this far, but the forces of good in this universe had to meet."

"That means you-" If you were looking anywhere but his eye's you would have missed the quick flash of fear before he returned to a rage.

"A bastard, the first failure, a legend known even in the furthest corners of the galaxies, though the history tends to differ depending on who you hear it from." You recalled, "I love Luci with my whole heart and I'm glad she's taken those titles for the flash and glam on Earth, but it doesn't lighten the weight I've carried. I saw you take Gamora, then how you tore the sisters apart for your own amusement under the guise of being a parent. Did you know her mother was almost done with a plan for the planet that would've turned them around completely? The future for them would have been one with no wars or struggles. The planet would thrive."

"They call me the Mad Titan but you are worse than I am", he struggled against his chains like a chained animal, "at least I own up to my own grievances."

You slowly froze the hand wielding the gauntlet and lifted it to be closer to you. You would definitely enjoy returning the universe to its natural balance one last time. "I relive my sins everyday Thanos, and I give back to the worlds I visit to ensure their prosperity. After I returned to Gaea, no, Earth, I knew it was only a matter of time before I had to deal with you."

The first stones to be removed were the Time and Mind Stones, quickly snapping your fingers so they could be returned to Strange, so he could revive Vision, and others lost in the Titan's destruction.

Thanos could only shake against the chains as you took out each stone, one by one, waving them off to obscure, hidden corners of the universe with a small guard of your own magic pawns to watch over them. The weight of the air shifting from the power of the stones in the gauntlet to the heaviness in your own powers, the finality in your mission making the air thick and harder for him to breathe.

"You certainly are a fool Thanos", you held back a small scoff before pocketing the last stone and cutting off his hand, separating it from the gauntlet and ignoring his screams, "half the universe is worth more than you or I could ever dream about being."

Now without any stones and missing a hand, Thanos was trembling with anger, screaming countless curses for you and your soul in as many languages as he could muster, knowing the end that awaited him.

"I suppose I'll have to see you on the other side after saving your daughter", you turned your back from the shell of a man and with a swift movement of your hand, the chains coiled even tighter around his body, pushing out all the air from him, finally put an end to his reign.

As a precaution, you destroyed the gauntlet and beheaded the Titan before burying him. Wondering how much his army would weaken with his death before teleporting back to Vormir for Gamora.

"Skull I'm here to return the stone, for her soul", you spoke into the cavern, knowing the protector would quickly transport you to the top.

"Ah, (Y/N), I'm surprised to see you with the stone. I suppose that means Thanos has passed" despite his past, he no longer cared for the mortal realm or the occupants of his past planet, "you know the return has the extra cost, I'm sure."

"I know", you passed the hooded being the stone before continuing, "but, I need to ensure she arrives on Earth, however, before I can grant you payment."

"I understand."

With a wave of his hand, the stone dissipated and Gamora appeared beside you and shot up, shocked to be alive, "Where is Thanos? Who are you? Why am I not dead?"

You offered a hand to her before you spoke, "dead, a friend, and the return of the soul stone after a deal. Now Gamora correct? I'm sure the Guardians will be glad to see you, they will need your help on Earth."

Nodding to Red Skull, you opened another portal and handed Gamora a new set of weapons, "the Titan may have been slain but his legion is still fighting, help put an end to it."

"And you? You call yourself a friend, but you won't join the fight?" She warily accepted the weapons from your hands and crossed her arms.

A small chuckle escaped your lips, "my fighting days are over, I slew the titan, and now I pay the price for your return. Do play nice with the Avengers and the others though? I hate to admit it, but I will miss them."

A flash of understanding covered her face, but before she could argue you pushed her out of the portal you summoned and watched as she looked around for you, immediately finding Rocket's side and helping him in the battle, with a snarky comment from the animal signaling his happiness at her return.

Returning to Skull, you saw a hint of sadness on the guardian's face, "you certainly lived a life, (Y/N), was it really worth throwing it all away for hers? A soul like yours, it's a heavy force in the universe..."

You know he was talking about Gamora, but your mind jumped to Wanda, the young witch entrancing you and sparking an old feeling in you that you thought you had thrown away eons ago, "Some are worth sacrificing yourself for. I've had enough running away and parlor tricks for thousands of lifetimes after all."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is victory worth the cost of your life?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> s/o to the anon that asked for a part 2 you're an enabler lmao  
> this time with extra sad!!  
> drop requests or talk to me @chuwaeyo on tumblr  
> have fun!!

Even if the return of Tony and the rest of the Avengers was a sight for sore eyes, what was the point of being together again if it had cost the life of their one supporter?

Tony was the first to move after watching you step into the portal, his helmet peeling back so he could address everyone and wipe the tears from his own eyes. "Look, I know we fell apart, but we're Earth's greatest defenders, hell maybe even the universe's at this point." As much as Tony tried to detach himself from any emotions during missions or fights, the thought of your sacrifice and the image of your goofy grin greeting them after missions refused to leave his mind, making his voice raw and full of emotion. "(Y/N) believes in us, they always have. And I don't know about all of you, but I sure as hell am not going to disappoint her now."

T'Challa spoke next, "I agree with Mr. Stark, and I know how much the loss of someone important to you can affect you, but we must rally together to finish the fight. If not for the rest of Earth. Do it for (Y/N)."

The Wakandan King had only met you briefly, after the explosion that killed his father. You were the only one that helped him and Natasha, your genuine care about their wellbeings and snarky comments had reminded him of his sister, thinking that you two would get along well if your paths were ever crossed again, in better circumstances. 

He didn't think that it would never happen.

He was waiting for the day he could welcome you and your friends into his home.

Slowly, each of the Avengers lifted their heads off the ground and nodded to each other, a silent agreement to mourn you only after they cut down the rest of Thanos' minions. They refused to think anything about you, all sharing the same fear that they would be reduced to tears and left vulnerable if they dared let their minds wander to you.

Wanda and Stephen watched as all of their allies readied themselves for the battle, both of them noticing the lack of fear in their eyes. Everyone that gathered, even the Guardians, had expressions on their face that screamed nothing but, "warriors with nothing more to lose", and made their way back to the thick of the battle, ready to do good by you.

As grim as the situation was, they couldn't help but think how you would've laughed at everyone's uncharacteristic seriousness if you had seen them. 

Then they both wondered if you were still alive.

And as if you had heard them, the Time and Mind Stone appeared, floating close to Strange, as if waiting for him to make things right in the little ways he could.

The Time stone quickly settled back into its old home in the necklace Strange carried, the Mind stone, pulsating in his hand as if it was waiting to do the same with Vision.

"Miss Maximoff, if you could take a step back", Wanda was speechless at the arrival of the stones, but nodded and listened to Strange's instructions, though they were barely louder than a whisper.

The Sorcerer quickly kneeled over Vision's body and steadied himself, and with a few quick movements, both he and the stones began to work in unison. The Mind stone rebuilding its connection to Vision just as fast as Thanos had torn them apart, and the Time stone turning back time for Vision's body, helping the other stone mend seamlessly with the Android, bringing him back to life.

With the color back on his body, Vision was still for a few seconds, as if he was a computer that was being started up again before he shot up in search of Wanda.

Even though she just dried her tears over you, the sight of Vision being back with her, brought her back to tears, thankful that whatever being watching over all of you left her at least one of the people special to her, "Oh Viz." They ran into each other's arms and shared a quick kiss before remembering the battlefield they stood on and the sacrifice of their friend.

If it was any other day, Strange would have scoffed and said some mildly offensive comment to urge them to get back to business, but that's all he did with you and figured he could be nice for one day in your honor, "I hate to break it up, but (Y/N) didn't sacrifice themselves for us to not join the fight."

He refused to meet Vision's eyes but nodded to Wanda as the two flew off to support their friends, closing his eyes to connect to the Time stone once more, to bring back anyone who could help in the battle ahead. It quickly connected him to a few souls that refused to move on, as if they were waiting nearby, knowing that they would be called back to battle soon enough. It allowed him to bring them all back.

Loki was the first to materialize from the stone, then Heimdall, and soon enough, Pietro Maximoff, and even Yondu Udonta and Erik Killmonger returned, though the final two only returned for the battle, wanting to do some good before they returned to their afterlives.

"If you all remember, at some point in recent time, you died, but the Time stone here, along with whatever forces touched it before returning to me brought you back", Strange's thoughts flashed to the ancient power he felt and saw in your eyes before you walked through the portal, "your help is needed in a battle for the universe, a monster by the name of Thanos unleashed his Legion here on Earth and we need to fight back while the person that helped bring you all back deals with the Mad Titan themselves."

Even without the explanation from Strange, they had all felt you reach out to them when you took out the Time stone from the gauntlet, pouring in your energy to tell them the whole story and get them ready for the fight. The first three were fast to agree, ready to put down their lives once more for the sake of those they cared about, while Yondu and Erik agreed after you assured them that once the Legion was cut down, they could return if that was what they really wanted.

"We know Doctor", Loki was the first to speak and thought about the fading feeling of you reaching out to them through the stone, "they reached out to us after obtaining the stone, we are ready when you are."

Out of the five that came back, Loki was the only one who ever met you, intrigued by the mask you constantly wore, pretending to be a sorcerer like Strange when he sensed something much more powerful in you. But you insisted on ignoring the accusations and treating him like a younger sibling to pull pranks with and help guide him when Thor was off with the other Avengers or Jane. He was grateful for your friendship more than you would ever know.

He knew you were hiding in the shadows for a reason, but he hated that it was for this. He told his brother the sun would shine on them again, but at the cost of your life? The thought angered him and made him all the more ready for battle.

At that, Strange led them all to the battlefield, all of them quickly abandoning all thoughts and focusing on taking down as many of the aliens they could.

On the battlefield, your friends weren't sure if it was their anger at your death that rallied them on, taking down more and more of Thanos' Legion by the minute, or if whatever you were doing actually made them weaker and easier to take down, but they refused to slow down.

They could catch their breath when they were sure you didn't sacrifice yourself for a lost cause.

But that moment, there was a sudden stillness in the air.

All around the field, the fighting stopped, half of the beings suddenly dropping to the floor like their kill-all switch was just pulled, and like that, they knew they could win, their fear of Thanos no longer lingering in their hearts.

It was a "comeback for the ages", as you would say, and your friends let themselves think of one memory of you, your eyes sparkling, smile wider than usual, raving about the end of Saban's Power Rangers movie, as if you or the rest of the Avengers weren't superheroes yourselves.

Tony was the first to point out your ridiculousness, "Hey, (Y/N/N), you do realize you are literally sitting in a room of superheroes?"

"Yeah I guess, but you guys are all nerds in my eyes, sorry Nat and Wanda", you rolled your eyes and threw some popcorn at him, "besides, you lot don't have sudden intense realizations about your friendships that help you turn the tide of some crazy, seemingly unbeatable baddie."

They imagined you would laugh how they were all thinking about your memory now to come together to defeat the baddie, though you had done that yourself, leaving them with all of his minions.

After that moment of stillness, the remaining minions that stood began to move again, much more desperate with the loss of half their forces and leader.

So they fought on, wanting to ensure that the "comeback for the ages", continued to be exactly that.

Across the battlefield, they didn't let themselves question the sight of their fallen friends, not yet - 

Quill flashed Yondu a grin the quick second they locked eyes before returning to the enemies surrounding them. T'Challa quickly found Erik's side and worked in sync with him to take down the Legion must faster than if the two were separated, a familial connection and the urge to do better was undeniable between them. They shared only a few words, knowing that their time together was only temporary, but was still glad for each other's company one last time.

Their numbers were thinning faster than ever, with all the Infinity Stones back in their places, the balance of the universe slowly returning to normal, pushing them further and further, eager to put an end to the fight.

Then Gamora emerged from the forest, confusion on her face, looking around for you before finding her way to Rocket, a snarky comment from her friend signaling she really was back.

Together they were able to take down every last one of Thanos' minions.

In the chaos of the battle, all of your allies had found themselves gravitating towards each other, the recently revived and alive alike, and circled around an unknown portal that had appeared the moment the final being fell. Waiting, watching to see what would step out of it, the look of it was eerily similar to the last one you had made before disappearing with Thanos.

They were all ready to collapse, hours of fighting finally taking its toll on each of them, hours of realizing you were no longer going to welcome them home or bother them about their injuries, or drag them off of the couch so they could sleep in their own beds.

No more random visits to the Sanctum when you got shot.

No more hearing you stand up to Fury, or making Maria smile and remember to take a break.

No more playing dress up.

No more late night talks when their demons got the better of them.

No more of their greatest supporter.

No more parlor tricks.

Wanda, even with Vision and Pietro on both her sides, felt angry and betrayed by what you did. Her tears were the first to fall, burning as they fell, "you brought them back to me, but what about you? All those tricks and you have none that could bring yourself back?" Her voice faltered as she collapsed to her knees, "Why can't you come back?"

She wouldn't say it out loud, but she regrets never asking more about the walls you had put up around your head, she regrets not taking the time to ask you how you were doing, what you did with your free time, what your favorite song was. 

She regrets never asking what you really thought about her and Vision because she didn't need to read your mind to see the flash of sadness on your face when she told you they were dating.

She regrets being so selfish and not seeing past your tricks.

Pietro held his sister tighter, not realizing the tears falling from his own face, when Steve spoke up to comfort her, still shaken at the loss as much as her, "Wanda, no one knew, they probably didn't even know if it was possible. They risked everything just so the rest of us could live on..."

The old soldier had spent so many of his recent years losing his loved ones from his past, his simpler times, and now he had lost you too.

For once, Sam didn't have any snarky comments to diffuse the situation. Bucky, Rhodey, Tony, Clint, and himself, all focused on the ground in front of them, refusing to even wipe the tears from their faces. They lost another one of their own, and they were helpless. 

Could they even remember the last time you were all laughing together?

Bruce felt nothing but anger, his hands were in fists, pulsating between their normal state, and a Hulkish green, after watching you leave, the Hulk had no problem in coming out anymore, the one emotional being thriving in the pain of losing you in the midst of the battle.

Natasha refused to shed any tears on the battlefield, opting to comfort Peter Parker, who was finally overwhelmed by everything that had happened the past few hours. Realizing that he wouldn't have you by his side to help him with homework, or projects, or training when Tony was too busy with Stark Industries work or Avengers business.

He choked back a sob before the tears began to fall, "are they really gone, Miss Romanoff? (Y/N) always told me that you can't just leave your friends and family behind without saying goodbye, or you know... telling them how much you love them."

He always tried to prove to everyone that he was ready to be an Avenger - always willing to fight, to learn, he would do anything to stand by your sides. 

But he never realized he had to be ready for your death.

She took a deep breath before taking the young boy in her arms, sorry that he had to lose another parental figure in his life so soon. His smaller form shaking at the loss in her embrace.

For once, Thor and Loki had no words. And though they were gods, they have never felt more powerless. If it had been any other situation, Heimdall would've liked to take a picture of the two not at each other's throats for once.

"You know, brother", Loki sniffed and wiped his tears from his face before facing Thor, "Miss (Y/N) always did their best to convince me to be good so I could stand by your side. And though I never found out how, she always had a way of finding me at my worst moments and making me feel like everything could be okay with us one day."

Thor let out a tired chuckle, as the tears began to fall from his own eyes, "it does sound like (Y/N) to do that. She would always yell at me about you, you know? If I wasn't being yelled at for stealing the pop tarts she hid, I would be getting yelled at to be a better brother to you, to try and be more understanding."

The Guardians, though your meeting was brief, were all amazed at your abilities and the immovable grin on your face as you seemed to conjure new supplies and a portal to Earth like it was nothing. They had respect for anyone willing to sacrifice themselves for the fate of the Universe, much like themselves when they had first met.

Surprisingly Gamora spoke up in the silence of the Guardians, "(Y/N) was the one that brought me back to life and led me here, when they had no reason to...I'm sorry a friend and warrior as selfless as they exchanged themselves for me. Their eyes were unreadable, it was like they resigned themselves to this fate long before Thanos had the stones."

The last statement broke Stephen Strange out of his thoughts, angered at the thought that a hooligan like yourself, no matter how mysterious, accepted their own death long before Thanos arrived on Earth. "You can't really be saying that (Y/N) just accepted that the only way all of us would survive was that they had to DIE?! Someone who bothered me days on end with stupid parlor tricks and pranks? They would just continue living knowing they would eventually give up their lives for all of us?"

He knew you treated everything like a joke, but your own life?

But Gamora didn't have to respond for everyone to know.

You would definitely lay down your life if it meant everyone else could live on.

And you would act like everything was fine every day.

It was another successful parlor trick you had done right in front of their eyes, leaving them all none the wiser.

Wanda may have taken your heart hostage under some spell of her smile and laugh, but you had done the same for all those still standing without even realizing.

How long were you counting down your days?

How long were you holding them close and acting like it would be the last time you would ever see them?

Did you expect them to get so caught up in your charms and selfless love and care that they would be crying over your death in public?

Did you know that as heartbroken as they were with your death they were mad you tried to pull the wool over their eyes by acting like everything would be okay again someday?

The portal suddenly surged, the hooded figure that was once known as Red Skull emerged carrying your body, stopping when it faced Steve, disguising its face to avoid any more complications. "Your friend may have sacrificed their soul for this victory, but even I have no joy in this. They deserve a heroes goodbye Captain."

Wordlessly, the old Soldier held out his arms and dropped to his knees as your dead weight brought on a new wave of tears. Watching the figure escape to the portal with a final nod, whether it was to himself or the body in his hands didn't matter. You were here in his arms, and the rest of your friends were looking at your body like you were just in a deep sleep. Waiting for any sign of you moving, of you being alive, ready to celebrate with them.

How could anyone know that this wasn't just another trick?

That you weren't waiting for the perfect moment to jump up and surprise them.

Their thoughts synchronized once more, hoping, praying that you would still come back to them.

Please let this be one last trick.


	3. aka the send ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As you're laid to rest, the effects of your life are remembered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me seeing others reacting to this story: "aww, how sad... alexa play Despacito"  
> anyways...all that's left is the epilogue! Cheers! Don't forget you can hmu @chuwaeyo on tumblr for anything

No one moved. The sight of your still body completely shattering any hopes they had of seeing your smile one last time.

Could it all be a trick?

Was the heavy body in Steve’s arms just a distraction?

Were you just around the corner, waiting to jump out?

But you never came.

Even after the sun had set, you were still lifeless in his arms and they were unmoving, the reality of your death slowly sinking in.

Under the light of the moon, Yondu and Erik said their goodbyes before returning to the afterlife, both men wondering if they would meet you on the other side before they dissipated into the night sky, curious to see the person who had the power to rally them all.

It felt wrong to leave the spot where they had all gathered. They wanted to believe you were going to come back.

It was Shuri that found the group after Okoye and the other Dora Milaje returned to the castle to help with injuries and inform her of her brother’s (and his friends’) safety.

The young princess may have never met you but was enthralled by the stories told by Bucky during his time in Wakanda and the way Wanda’s eyes had lit up recalling your name in the stories when she was trying to extract the stone from Vision. You seemed like quite the personality, and she was disappointed that you were never able to visit Wakanda and take in its sights before you laid down your life for its safety.

After Okoye had told her their location on the field, Shuri boarded the roomiest jet and made her way to the spot in the field where they had all stood still, wanting to ensure there was enough space so they wouldn’t have to crowd your body when returning to the palace.

She would have made a joke to lighten the mood but seeing them all watch your lifeless body stopped her, "I know you all may not want to move right now, but you fought a long battle, you need to rest. Please let me help."

Even in their shock and slow acceptance of your death, they listened to Shuri, knowing it would be what you would want them to do. With the help of Bucky, Steve stood up and carried your body into the jet, and laid your body down on the first flat surface he found as gently as he could. Not wanting you to suffer any more than you already had, even though you were no longer with them.

The trip back to the palace was fast and silent, the air still heavy with the reality of your death. It was a solemn procession from the jet to the palace. Tony had taken it upon himself to be the one to carry you in, begging Steve to let him hold you one last time, following Shuri to her labs so they could put away your body and preserve it until they had returned to New York for a proper burial.

The Wakandan people watched in silence as your friends slowly marched off the jet, and bowed their heads in respect for what you had all done. They may have suffered casualties, but nothing as major as you - 

They still had their king, their princess, most of the Dora Milaje and other warriors. They still had their hearts in one piece.

Even though they had called in your death to SHIELD the moment the Quinjet left Wakandan borders the next day, both Maria and the Director were still shocked at the sight of your body.

The two strong and intimidating figures crumbled the instant they laid eyes on you.

They wanted to be angry.

They wanted something, anything, to blame for your death.

They wanted to feel anything but the sadness from the sudden emptiness in their lives.

Maria had let a few tears fall before quickly wiping them with her free arm before turning around and returning to her office, her hands trembling in tight fists. 

Even if you were her closest friend on the team, she refused to be seen crying when she had to be strong for the rest of your friends. She had to keep on a mask of professionalism until you were put to rest - it was the only thing that would help her get through your funeral.

If you had seen her then, you probably would’ve flashed her a gentle smile and forgone all jokes to give her a hug and reassure her that everything would work out. That she should take a deep breath and look at everything that had worked out. You would have dried her tears and pointed out how the rest of the Avengers were back in one piece and finally reunited, and brought along new friends, she would have to file into SHIELD’s systems as a formality with a laugh finally leaving your mouth.

Fury was barely any better, he had flinched at the sight of you, but couldn’t take his eyes off your lifeless body as he addressed the heroes, the “saviors of the universe”, as the media would soon call them. 

He heard Maria stomp off as he continued his address, his own voice sounding like a stranger’s as he found himself congratulating them on the victory, and that you would be remembered and memorialized for all you had done.

As much as he hated to admit it, you were his greatest help in the agency besides Maria, and you weren’t afraid to argue against him and reason with him to be a fairer leader. You helped him see the reason and other colors in a world he saw in black and white.

When an agent is lost in battle, the service is usually small and private, allowing only close family members and friends to attend outside of SHIELD agents. But for you, the world quickly learned of your sacrifice and wanted to mourn you. The people of Earth wanted to give you their thanks for letting them continue with their lives when you had no reason to.

The world, plagued with so many other problems, wanted to give its thanks to the one person willing to save it despite its corruption.

Your death had spurred movements on social media, and the news, thanking those who inspired others daily in little ways, the hashtag #selflessheroes trending for the following month after their return. After realizing how fast they could’ve lost their whole world, people wanted to make sure their love and thankfulness was known to those they cared about before it was too late.

People became more sympathetic to the Avengers, and others with special abilities. None of your friends were attacked for their powers or pasts anymore, as were most of the general population with abilities. Everyone took a page out of your own book and began to treat others like it was the last time they would see them.

They remembered how short life could be.

Despite voices from around the world wishing for theatrics and statues to memorialize you, your friends kept your service as simple as they could. As much as you loved helping others and bringing a smile to their faces, you hated when the attention was on you, getting nervous faster than Thor when he noticed Steve was able to move his hammer (though it was barely anything).

Leaders from around the world wanted to travel to New York for your service, to show face and their gratitude for your loss. But the Avengers continued to decline, knowing you would appreciate that your one final moment was together with them all.

They all thought that you would’ve laughed at how cliche it all was, the moment your body entered the casket, a large storm hung over the most of the country, the nonstop rain mirroring the tears that fell from your friends’ faces.

The weather wasn’t out of the ordinary for the time of the year, but Strange and Wong couldn’t help but wonder if the skies were mourning your death as well. Were you ancient enough to have known the things that watched over the beings on Earth? Or had you touched enough souls in your lifetime to just, have that effect on the world?

As they all gathered and carried out your casket, the rain began to fall anew, media cameras and journalists taking up the rear to cover the funeral of the world’s late hero. Your friends were all too exhausted to turn around and yell at the media workers for more space, focusing solely on getting you to your final destination in peace.

Initially, the public thought that Tony or Steve would be the one from the Avengers to speak at the service, as they were seen as the leaders of your ragtag group of friends, but Wanda was voted by everyone to be the best speaker for your service. 

When it came to you, Wanda suddenly had a way with words and a confidence that made it seem like she was talking about her own story and life. She could go on about you and your good points for ages.

“Most of us know them as the one who sacrificed it all so we could be standing here today. A smiling face who always thought there was something more to live on for”, Wanda’s eyes had locked onto Vision, thinking back to what you had said before you walked into that portal with Thanos. You had given your life up so they could keep living theirs, “but they were so much more, (Y/N) was a smile after a rough moment, a home cooked meal after weeks away on a mission, a helping hand when paperwork became a little too overwhelming. They were a stupid joke to distract us after an embarrassing moment, a shoulder to cry on, warm hands to comfort us, they were so many little things that distracted us from all the bad in the world."

Wanda was overwhelmed by memories of you, most her own, but others were stray memories from your friends in the crowd, finally letting their walls down as they said goodbye to you one last time.

“They always gave so much, and never wanted anything in return except our own happiness." Wanda couldn’t stop the tears from falling, she felt so blind and stupid, never noticing all the sacrifices you made for everyone, for her. “They had so many tricks up their sleeves to make us forget the bad in the world and look forward to the future that, when they were gone…”

Her eyes had begun to glow lightly, her powers wanting some release at the overwhelming force of emotions from herself and everyone surrounding your casket, “we were so mad. I was so mad because I was so used to them pulling tricks with bad timing, but they just wouldn’t come back.” Wanda’s voice cracked as she choked back a gasp, “We waited so long for them to come back, and they're still not here. We never thought their last trick would be this kind of disappearing act.”

Steve wrapped his arm around Wanda to calm her down and gave a small nod to one of the news cameras before returning his gaze from your casket, his grip tightening on the umbrella he held over her, “I know I can speak for the other Avengers, when I say we are beyond grateful and touched by the endless love and support for our friend, but it’s time to say our goodbyes."

As they lowered your casket into the ground, each of your friends felt as if some part of them followed you into the ground. All the memories, and jokes that you would only share with them, suddenly meaningless without you by their side to recount them and laugh by their side.

The only comfort the Avengers had in your death was the solidarity they felt between themselves, each thinking back to simpler times, as they stood around the fresh grave thinking of what used to be.

When Tony first met you, you were just another pretty face he could flirt with to keep up his public persona of a “genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist” at some SHIELD operation that was disguised as a charity gala. 

How was he supposed to know you were another agent? He slid into the chair beside yours and offered you a smile, “evening stranger, I don’t know about you, but this shindig is a little too crazy even for me, can I get you a refill?”

“I’m touched Mr. Stark, but I don’t think a refill of this whiskey will be good for the mission tonight", you grinned at his shocked face before clinking your glass against his own in goodwill.

“You’re an agent?” Tony quickly got over his shock and moved closer to you, “thank god, someone I can complain to, I haven’t seen any of my team the whole night."

You laughed and quickly explained that the gala (for whatever strange reason) was open on multiple floors of the building and that the other Avengers were stationed at other floors with a few other agents to keep them posted before easing into a casual conversation with him. Tony dropped his facade and began to act like the ridiculous yet caring friend you would soon know him to be, the two of you spending the rest of the night huddled close, sharing stupid conspiracy theories about the mission and his friends to pass the time until the signal to move out was given.

Steve had appreciated you standing up for the team to Fury before they first officially met you, and respected the action, though he made sure to keep you at least an arm’s distance away from him. You may have defended his team from the wrath of Fury, but that didn’t mean he could trust you.

It took a few meetings for the ice to finally melt (you could remember that it was exactly the 30th one that finally got him to stop being so awkward with you). You had always run into him on the training grounds for an early morning workout, or when you were working with recruits, always making sure to stop him for a quick hello and conversation if he allowed it.

The 30th time started out no different, “Morning Captain Rogers! Not that I’m surprised to see you here again, but don’t you think you deserve even one morning to sleep in?” You waved him down with a smile as you were finishing up your stretches.

“Trust me when I say I’ve spent enough time asleep for the past 70 years”, he made his way over to you to do a few starting stretches of his own, a small grin on his face at his own joke.

You were shocked for a few seconds before you laughed, “Well I’m glad to see you’re awake in that case."

After talking to Tony all night at the gala, he had invited you to meet Rhodes for their weekly brunch, and the three of you talked the afternoon away sipping on coffee and having your fill of the endless pancakes Tony ordered. You had avoided bringing up any sore subjects for the first meeting, opting to bring up recent movies, wanting to hear about their opinions on the quality and stories of the films, as the “amateur movie buff” Tony called you.

Soon enough, Rhodey would come to you for movie suggestions, after admitting his secret love for animated shows and movies, and you could only laugh and be glad that you soon had another friend to put through the ringer when you found another animated film that made you cry.

Outside of films, or cartoons, as Tony rolled his eyes the first time he found the two of you on his couch watching Coco and crying. You and Rhodey often found comfort in each other’s companies when you just needed a break from the nonsense of the Avengers. 

While it wasn’t often, sometimes the two of you stole one of Tony’s extra suits so you could both fly around the city and race each other in the countryside. You gave each other a sense of normalcy in your chaotic lives.

You were always there for both Bruce and Hulk, doing whatever you could to help the two of them. For Bruce, you stood by his side during particularly rough nights in the lab when he couldn’t figure out why any of his experiments were working, offering solutions that worked out 20% of the time (as low as that percentage was, you were proud of it), or simply coffee, snacks, and some company to talk him through the process (you found out that when the scientist simplified the problem to explain it to you, he often realized there was a simpler solution).

When he was Hulked out, you spoke in soft whispers and reassured them both. “Listen to my voice big guy, not the enemy’s, the fighting’s over, you helped us win”, you were one of the only people that were unafraid of them, a comforting touch on their arms that always pulled them out of the bad space they let themselves fall in during battles, when their emotions were let free. 

You made them feel safe.

Thor always made sure to bring back a souvenir from Asgard for you after the first time you both talked and he learned of your interest in Norse mythology and his home. The two of you could spend hours sitting on the edge of the balcony of the Compound, watching the city lights as he recalled stories of growing up in Asgard and the figures you spent countless hours reading stories about.

His heart soared knowing he had someone that was willing to listen to him ramble on and on about his home since the other Avengers could only take so much after all. And in return, he would listen to your theories and opinions on his friends back home, answering your questions as best you could without revealing too many of the embarrassing details in case they decided to listen in. 

Your love for history and cultures around the world interested him as much as your interest in the love he had for his home, and after so long of standing on the sidelines, watching everything pass you by, you finally met someone who was there and could give you their own personal account of the legends you read about.

To give the others a break from your constant discussions, you got Thor to start baking. It helped him get used to controlling his strength and gave him some self-control (the first time you let him try cookie dough, it wasn’t until the fourth week of making the dough that you finally convinced him that it would test better when it was finished). 

If you weren’t on the balcony or on the couch talking, the two of you were always in the kitchen, starting off with simple baked goods before moving on to more difficult recipes, and even Asgardian treats (after you started baking with him, he brought back a recipe book from Asgard, and you both learned that mimicking the recipes on Earth were almost impossible). 

You showed him that there was more to life than being a god and a fighter. He was a friend, a brother, a baker.

The first time Loki saw you and Thor baking together he laughed and couldn’t believe his eyes, “oh brother, what spell did she have to put on you for you to be baking of all things."

You rolled your eyes before throwing some of the extra flour at the trickster, “don’t be such a spoilsport, Loki, or you won’t get any of our cookies. And hey, who knows, you might even like baking too if you gave it a try."

He played with the idea of himself baking alongside the two of you for a second before rolling his eyes and settling into the chair on the opposite side of the counter, “I would rather subject myself to cooking Midgardian food instead of baking."

Seeing the spark in your eye at his statement, Loki immediately regretted walking into the kitchen in the first place, as you beamed, “want me to teach you how to cook?”

“No”, Loki glared at you before turning to Thor, who was silently watching (and enjoying) the exchange, “brother how are you just letting this Midgardian talk to me like this?”

“(Y/N) is just offering to help you learn something new Loki, don’t be so crass”, Thor flashed him smile before putting the tray of cookies into the oven and taking the seat beside his brother, “besides, I thought you liked doing things as long as it’s not fighting?"

Following that exchange, whenever Loki ran into you in the kitchen when he was searching for his brother, you always offered to show him what you were cooking and if he wanted to help, but always turned down your offer, stating “I’m much too busy for something like cooking”.

“Too busy searching for Thor for a prank, you mean?” you snickered, and that finally got him to give up his search and efforts to deny your advances to get him to cook.

“One day after you teach me all your cooking skills I’m going to poison your meal”, Loki tried to threaten you as you helped him pull on the spare apron you bought for the Compound, but you could only laugh. 

Even if it wasn’t helping him with a prank, or talking to him after his brother left without a word, cooking and spending quiet time with you was more than he thought he deserved. Even after he (seriously) threatened your life a few years ago, you were never afraid of him. 

You made him feel seen.

Much like Steve, Bucky was wary the first few times you had met, only exchanging a few words each time in greeting before he ran off to Steve’s side. You would kill him if he ever told you in person, but he thought you were the most fragile person in the room and was afraid that he would mess something up or do something rude and you would just, shatter into a thousand pieces.

But after seeing Steven smile and joke around with you, he knew it was only time before you brought his walls crashing down too. And if he had known how many pranks you would pull on him after becoming his friend, he probably would’ve avoided you for a little while longer, missing the peace he had in his life, without having to worry about his arm being covered in hard to remove magnets, or his shampoo suddenly replaced with pink hair dye or bleach.

Bucky would trade anything for one more stupid grin or cheeky laugh as you walked into the common area and saw him under the effects of your latest prank. If it meant he had to suffer through Hydra torture all over again for just one more smile, he would do it. You were worth it, even if you confided in him that sometimes you felt like you were nothing. 

You were always there to talk him out of nightmares, and he was there to remind you just how amazing you were. He was there when Natasha was off on a mission and you couldn’t confide in her about Wanda, much like how you were there for him to remind him of his worth, he was there for you too. 

Until the end of the line.

Stephen and Wong opted to watch your service from the shadows, emerging only when the cameras and horde of onlookers left - whether it was in disappointment that the Avengers refused to move from their spots around your grave, or out of respect they never knew. 

They both thought back to the last time you had visited the Sanctum, throwing streamers and confetti wherever you went because you had learned it was Strange’s birthday. “Aw c'mon Strange, I get that you’re the Sorcerer Supreme and all, but it’s your birthday! Lighten up a little bit”, you grinned and waved at Wong so he could pull out the cake you had brought, “Wong even pitched in so I could get you a cake."

“And even if I were to celebrate my birthday, who said I would want to spend it with you?” Stephen rolled his eyes and made his way to the lounge chair, opening up some old text to further his understanding of the world and its secrets.

“Because outside of Wong I am your best friend?” After grabbing the cake from Wong, you placed it on the table closest to Strange and as you began to cut it, plates and forks appearing at your side, “wow hate on me all you want and here you are making plates appear for the cake”.

“I’m not stupid enough to turn down a free cake", Strange didn’t look up from his book when he scoffed, “even from the likes of you." 

You and Wong shared a hurt look before looking back to see him laughing at the two of you, and you swore you would annoy him much worse than usual to get back at him, even though you had originally planned on not annoying him as a present.

Strange would never admit it to your face, but your antics made his day, whether it was because it was you, or if it was because you distracted Wong enough to stop bothering him. 

You reminded him of simpler times like you were all just children fooling around in the safety of the Sanctum, hidden away from the dangers of the outside world.

Other than Wanda, Natasha quickly grew to be one of your best friends with Bucky, your unrelenting will to make everyone smile and feel at ease wore down her walls much faster than she would care to admit. You were her sister in arms, on the battlefield for simple missions, or waiting in the Med Bay after long battles to patch them up, and even helping her sneak through the quiet hallways of the Compound to help prank the others.

You were the sister she never had. As much as you complained and whined, you let her drag you to the mall to shop and try on new clothes, or the salon for a spa day, or the training room when she was angry and needed someone to spar with and not tap out after the first ten minutes.

You were the sister she spent so many late nights with, talking under the covers of the pillow fort you two had built up in the common area, the sister she watched care for Wanda and encouraged to follow her feelings even though you never did the same. You were the sister she held in her arms that night after Wanda had told you they finally started dating, you were the one person who gave up everything to make sure everyone else could smile.

How could you leave your sister alone without one last hug goodbye?

One last moment of closeness and vulnerability with you was all Natasha wanted.

To say he was jealous of how quickly you and Natasha grew close was an understatement, Clint was absolutely LIVID. One afternoon after walking into the Compound carrying most of Wanda and Natasha’s bags after your most recent shopping trip (you insisted to carry them since you were the one who wanted to walk around in the first place), seeing their arms linked to yours, Clint lost it. “Okay, listen here buddy, feel free to be Wanda’s best friend, that’s all fine and well, but Nat is MY best friend."

If it wasn’t for your SHIELD training you might’ve flinched at the sight of him yelling only a few inches from your face, but you only laughed at the sight, the deadly Hawkeye was angry at you for ‘stealing’ his best friend. “Clint, if you were jealous of Nat and Wanda, you could’ve told me you wanted to hang out."

The three of you never let him live it down, leading him to plan an unrelenting prank war against the three of you, which probably would’ve destroyed the Compound a few times over, if you hadn’t found him openly planning it in the common area and offered him ideas before he recognized the helpful voice as your own. 

Even though the start of your friendship was with his jealousy, Clint was glad to have another friend to help plan pranks with, especially because you led to less property damage (meaning smaller punishments after the pranks).

The android would never admit it, but he had a great respect for you. One quick look and Vision could see your elevated vitals and have an understanding of you, and your own hidden feelings for Wanda. Your elevated heart rate when she smiled or laughed, the slightly flushed cheeks (he noticed the .01% color difference), and your determination to make sure that she and the other Avengers would go to sleep with smiles on their faces if you could help it.

He could’ve argued it was selfish of both of you, that you let him and Wanda fall in love when he noticed you saw her the same way he did. But after all the time he spent with her, he didn’t care about anyone else but her. 

Her smile, her laugh, it brought you both so much joy and love, and he could only respect that you would put her happiness before your own.

Even if that’s what lead to your demise.

Much to Bucky’s and Clint’s annoyance, your prank team-ups with Sam were always the most feared (after you and Natasha of course), with his wild ideas and your ability to make them plausible pranks, the two of you were menaces to the other two men. Other than being his partner in crime, you were also the only one in the Avengers that went along and treated Redwing with the respect it deserved, always thanking it and giving it a quick pat when it floated near you.

He may have named it as a joke, but seeing you act so genuinely towards it made him reconsider his own feelings toward it. It grew on him a lot more and he was glad that at least you saw the good in it.

He wondered if the drone would even realize you weren’t ever going to call out its name again. If it would realize you were never coming back.

His best pranking partner, and believer in Redwing...would you keep pulling pranks and other tricks wherever you were watching them?

Under the guise of his internship, Peter introduced you to Aunt May as his mentor and friend, always speaking the world of you and telling his aunt how you were able to get Mr. Stark to take a break, then figure out what was wrong with one of the system’s in the building (he would never forget the day someone had hacked into J.A.R.V.I.S. and got it to snow in the Compound), all while helping him learn whatever he needed to know (keeping out the training and web fluid durability tests).

His eyes sparkled whenever he talked about you and the things you did, though he would deny it like his life depended on it whenever he came home and saw you talking with Aunt May, asking for her permission to take him along for company business for a few hours (that usually meant homework, food, then some training or work in the lab with Tony if it wasn’t too late).

Your conversations with his aunt always reassured her about the internship and put her to ease, seeing your eyes sparkle when you brought up the help Peter was able to offer or just telling her about how he had made you all smile at the company.

They both missed your smile and laugh the moment you left their home after dropping off Peter after an outing. Even with all their worries and fears in the world, seeing that smile of yours always made them feel like everything would be okay.

Couldn’t you send them off with one more smile before you left?

The Wakandan king wished he could’ve done more to memorialize you in his country, but at the urge of the Avengers, he had kept it as modest as he could, a moderately sized plaque with your name, alias, and death date engraved into Vibranium to ensure it would last, placed beside the entrance of the palace to welcome those who visited.

Even though he and Shuri were barely better than strangers to you, the stories they had heard from the people around them in the days leading up to your service made their hearts ache for you.

If it was any other circumstance, T'Challa was sure you would have much to teach him about becoming a better leader, and even brother to Shuri if you ever saw them interact. 

He hoped you would see the beauty of Wakanda in another life since you were taken from this one so quickly.

The ragtag group had barely met you but honored you as one of their own, also still amazed at everything you were able to do with a snap of your fingers. Drax would never forget the way you snapped your fingers and the large clown nose appeared on Strange, laughing at the way it let out a loud squeak as he tried to remove it.

You led Gamora back to them when you didn’t have to. You made sure their own team was complete while you sacrificed yourself and left an empty space in your own. You were the fantasy hero Peter Quill used to watch movies about, giving your life up for the greater good and to save the one smile you had loved. 

They couldn’t find it in themselves to crack a joke or argue, even if they were known as the Guardians of the Galaxy, your sacrifice was more than anything they would’ve done.

The Avengers told them how much you hated titles for yourself, and how you probably would’ve laughed when Starlord called you, “Hero of the Universe” under his breath as if you weren’t someone who spent most of their free time goofing off and focused on making your friends smile.

Wanda’s eyes continued to burn, even when Vision and Pietro stood at her sides as if shielding her from the reality that her best friend was just laid to rest. She had so much to thank you for, but you were never coming back home. 

You had found a way to bring back Vision and Pietro to her as if you were trying to soften the blow from your own death. You always had a way to keep her close, yet so far from you at the same time. Sharing only good times and promises of a future where she was no longer feared and prosecuted, promising her a future where she was surrounded by loved ones, but never once, mentioning yourself in the images you painted for her.

If she had known you were going to disappear forever she would’ve held onto you one last time and tried to convince you to stay, to forget the world for just one more night of blind love and friendship.

Hours after the cameras turned off and left with the crowd that gathered, your friends continued to stand at your grave, the last words they heard you speak as your epitaph. 

“A life spent knowing you, has been a life well spent”. 

They hoped that when you closed your eyes for the last time, you thought back to the simpler times you had all shared together, it was the least you deserved in their eyes.

You made sure to make the most out of your time together, you had made sure your life with them was well spent and hoped they could say the same.

But they wanted more time with you after your hasty goodbye.

They still didn’t know what trick was worse.

The fact you knew your days were numbered and never said anything, or the fact that you were never coming back... 

Then imagine your surprise, when you felt your eyes open to be facing the big leader in the sky after so many years away.

"Oh my dear (Y/N)”, the voice was as gentle as you remembered it when you left so long ago, a long forgotten affection aching in your chest, “why would you pull a stunt like that? What if you couldn’t come back?”

It finally clicked in your mind when you realized where you were, what you had done, “I shouldn’t be up here, I gave up my soul in return for Gamora’s...” and soon enough your confusion was replaced with anger, “why am I here?!"

“No matter what you have done or the weight you think you carry, your selfless sacrifice granted you another chance”, the face looked hurt at your anger, “do you not want to be home? Even after I was able to bring you back?”

“Of course I want to be home, but there’s no way I can go back to it anymore”, you turned away from the figure and felt the tears falling, “what a cruel trick."

Home was never this place high above the sky with old beings you no longer associated with. 

It was in her arms, it was leaning against her as she strummed her guitar to some slow love song, it was her smile, her laugh, it was raiding the fridge with her at midnight.

Home was never a location.

Home was wherever you were with her.

Home was laying on the floor of the Avengers Compound with full stomachs after Thor argued he could eat the most pizza.

Home was on Earth, surrounded by the smiles you would never see again.

You may have pulled many tricks on your time on Earth, but never something as cruel as this.

Now you were back to watching humanity on the sidelines, cursed to watch their pain and heartbreak with no hope to ever jump in and make them smile again.

You may have been one with a pension for tricks, but they were nothing compared to the ones done by those holy beings, always unintentionally so cruel.


	4. aka the reality where you live

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reality where you live in the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue? aka how can I ignore the reader death as if I wasn't the one who killed off the reader in the first place | rough timeline for fic for clarification: part 1, 2, then a choice of ending with part 3 (sad) or the epilogue (happy/ish)

The portal suddenly surged, the hooded figure that was once known as Red Skull emerged, carrying your body, stopping when it faced Steve, disguising its face to avoid any more complications. “Your friend may have tried to sacrifice themselves for this victory, but the forces outside of my own seem to refuse to let them go quietly into the night...they will wake up again, Captain."

Wordlessly, the old Soldier held out his arms and dropped to his knees as your dead weight brought on a new wave of tears. Watching the figure escape to the portal with a final nod, whether it was to himself or the body in his hands didn’t matter. You were here in his arms, and the rest of your friends were looking at your body, trapped in a deep sleep. You were here, and you were alive, even if your eyes weren't opening yet.

They imagined how cruel of a trick it would have been if the hooded figure had instead dropped off your body, and shed silent tears at your slow breathing, thankful that you were here with them, the setting sun shining down on all of you like you had promised.

Of course, you would show up right after they just poured their hearts out over you. Even if you hadn't meant it, it was another stupid trick.

It felt unreal to have you back with them after you had thrown your own life away so quickly for them and the rest of the universe. They were all so sure you were never going to come back.

Shuri found the group after Okoye and the other Dora Milaje returned to the palace to help with injuries and inform her of her brother's (and his friends') safety.

The young princess may have never met you but was enthralled by the stories told by Bucky during his time in Wakanda and the way Wanda’s eyes had lit up recalling your name in the stories when she was trying to extract the stone from Vision. You seemed like quite the personality, and she was disappointed that you were never able to visit Wakanda and take in its sights before you laid down your life for its safety.

After Okoye had told her their location on the field, Shuri boarded the roomiest jet and made her way to the spot in the field where they had all stood still, wanting to ensure there was enough space so they wouldn’t have to crowd your body when returning to the palace.

Imagine her surprise when she neared the heroes and saw your barely breathing body in the Captain's arms, "I know you all may not want to move right now, but you fought a long battle, you need rest. Please let me help, for your sakes and your friend's."

Even in their shock of your return thanks to the hooded figure, they listened to Shuri, knowing you would kick their ass if you found out they only watched you while you were passed out instead of doing something to help. With the help of Bucky, Steve stood up and carried your body into the jet, and laid your body down on the first flat surface he found as gently as he could. Unsure of the injuries you had sustained on your side of the battle.

The trip back to the palace was fast and silent, the air still heavy with confusion over your return. It was a solemn procession from the jet to the palace. Tony had taken it upon himself to be the one to carry you in, begging Steve to let him since he had let you go so easily into the portal not sure if you would return, following Shuri to her labs so they could check your body for injuries and try to see when you would wake up.

The Wakandan people watched in silence as your friends slowly marched off the jet, and bowed their heads in respect for what you had all done. You had all suffered in the battle and you had all lived to tell the tale thanks to your efforts.

Within a few minutes, Shuri received a full scan of your body and found that you had sustained almost no injuries, only a few cuts, and scrapes that could easily be bandaged. But even after treating your wounds, and connecting you to machines that would help regulate your breathing for the next few hours until you were stable, you refused to wake up, leading to Wanda offering to watch over you to try to connect to your mind and pull you back to reality.

No one on the team knew that she was never able to connect to your mind before. After the first time she tried, she accepted your walls were too strong and gave up on trying to sneak her way in. Even with more training at the Compound, she knew she still wasn't strong enough to take them down.

But laying in the quiet lab exhausted after you were so sure you wouldn't see your friends again, your walls crumbled the moment Wanda reached out to your mind, taking your right hand in hers to reassure the both of you, that you were both alive.

Wanda found you laying in a vast field, your eyes trained on the endless cosmos that lit up the night sky, speaking only when she took a seat next to you, ready to grab onto you just in case you tried to step through another portal to save the world at the cost of your life again, "you don't have to stay here you know."

The sight in front of you had made you wonder, were those old beings watching you? Did they have anything to do with your return? Was it all a trick? 

Would you open your eyes and return to the nothingness again? Or the place up in the sky? 

"Don't I?" It felt like it had been ages since you heard her voice, but you couldn't force yourself to face her just yet, the guilt of making them all worry weighed on your conscience.

You knew she probably rolled her eyes before she slapped your leg, "of course you don't, we all want to see you again (Y/N)."

"You're probably just lying to make me feel better", you closed your eyes and tried to turn onto your side so you could avoid looking at her before she grabbed your arm and made you face her. "How am I supposed to know if you're even real?"

By the time you laid eyes on her, Wanda had tears welling up in her eyes and you instinctively pulled her into a tight hug, that answered your second question, "we thought we lost you when you didn't come back."

She choked back a gasp and you held her tighter, rubbing circles on her back to calm her down, "I know...I didn't think there was a chance I could come back, and to be honest, Wanda, I was sure I died."

At that, Wanda picked her head up and pushed you both apart slightly so she could look at your face, "(Y/N), what do you mean you were sure you died?"

"It's weird I don't know, and trust me I know my weird stuff", her hand slipped into yours and tightened, sensing your discomfort, "I remember everything up to when the keeper of the Soul stone took my soul for Gamora's, and then I remember the vast emptiness, so I guess now I can say that if you die without a soul it's absolute nothingness..."

Wanda was speechless as you racked your brain trying to recall everything you witnessed, the memories breaking your heart when you finally remembered, "I watched my own funeral when the big leader up in the sky brought me back, even though I didn't want to go back there after I left...they brought me back so I could keep watching over you all and humanity, but I could never interact you any of you ever again." Your throat was dry at the realization, "they pulled a cruel trick on me and I had to watch as you all cried on Earth."

Whether she believed your story or not, Wanda noticed the tears that started to fall steadily from your face and pulled you into another embrace, "none of that matters anymore, you're alive now, you're back with us, you're safe, and we'll be by your side when you wake up from this okay? So please wake up."

You smiled and thought how ironic it was how you had given up your life to save them all, to save her, and here she was now, saving you.

"For you? I'll do my best", and at that, the world that surrounded the two of you slowly faded away and Wanda opened her eyes to see you still sleeping, albeit with a much more serene expression on your face. Satisfied at that, she asked the Wakandan guard that was posted nearby if they could tell your friends that you would be up after a well-deserved rest as she continued to watch you sleep.

You don't really know what exactly woke you up the following morning, with the lights of the lab bearing down on you, the pain in your neck from resting on the flat surface, or the growing chatter that surrounded you.

The first voice you recognized clearly was Tony's, "all I'm saying is that I'm the one that deserves to hug them first when they wake up, after all, I am Earth's best defender, and I can quote the big purple thumb on that."

Bucky scoffed in response, "oh look at me, I'm Stark, I run around in a big tin can, that means I can do whatever I want."

"You two act like literal children together, why do we keep letting you two into the same room", you heard Natasha's tired tone and could tell she probably rolled her eyes at the men, "besides, I should be the one that hugs her first, we have a closer bond, we're sisters."

Everyone had continued arguing like that, even the Guardians, who never missed out on a chance to join (slightly) petty arguments like the current one. Listening to each of their arguments with your eyes closed, the smile on your face grew, laughing at each of their ridiculous reasons to who could be your first, "thank god you're alive hug". 

Your favorite argument was from Drax - "she put a stupid nose on the magic man and it made a loud squeak when he took it off I like her."

It didn't matter that you never heard Wanda or Vision speak up, you knew they were happy and they had each other. Even if you could never be with her, you were still alive, and heartbreak was something you were willing to pay to see everyone's smiles again.

After a few more minutes, you were convinced it really wasn't a trick. You were alive and surrounded by all your friends arguing over you (you thought it was almost touching if you didn't feel a headache already coming on).

When you finally opened your eyes, you saw Shuri and Peter on each of your sides, quickly sharing a grin before they took you into their arms and laughed at how no one else noticed you wake up in the midst of their arguing.

"Peter buddy, it's good to see you", you ruffled his hair before turning your head towards the princess with a laugh, "and I'm assuming you must be Shuri? The smartest person in this room? You have to tell me, did they all think to put me here, or was that all you?"

The two teens grinned and nodded, happy to see you alive and talking, and pulled apart from you so you could see the shocked looks on everyone's faces.

"I do believe you lot just got tricked by a couple of kids", Stephen spoke up and gave you a small nod with a smile on his face, "good to see you alive though you hooligan." 

If you weren't so overwhelmed with love and happiness to see all your friends again (and for being alive of course), you would have snapped your fingers and put another clown nose on him.

"Well, since I'm alive and well, am I allowed to get up?" You laughed and sat up on the cold surface as they all shared a mischievous look before jumping on you in a massive dogpile. "Ugh, a simple 'no' would've worked just as fine, now get off of me! You're all almost as heavy as Thor's hammer, stop crushing me!"

Everyone peeled themselves off of you and the dog pile they had made as fast as they could. Glad to see you awake, but also hungry and eager to have some breakfast, before exploring the palace and Wakanda.

"Is there anything we can do to help with the reconstruction efforts?" You took a sip of the coffee Natasha placed in front of you and gave her a smile in thanks before turning back to T'Challa and Shuri.

The latter of the two quickly laughed and spoke up before her brother could open his mouth, "trust me, the reconstruction won't take much time at all, don't worry."

"Shuri is right (Y/N), Wakanda is more than capable than fixing itself after a battle", he laughed at your confusion before continuing, "all that was damaged was the field and some areas of the palace, but those repairs have already been done."

"I don't know if I should be terrified or amazed", you beamed at the two siblings as Sam slapped your shoulder and took the seat beside you.

"Alright (Y/N), keep it in your pants, you're worse than Tony and Bruce sometimes I swear", Sam grinned and stole a piece of the omelet you had cut, "and they're the ones that can actually understand how it all works."

Reflexively you slapped the food out of his hand so it would drop onto the table. If you couldn't have it, neither could he, "I might not be a science genius, but I can still think things are interesting Sam! It's called having hobbies, being multi-faceted?"

Your friends laughed at the exchange while they relaxed and enjoyed their own breakfast - no matter what the ending, they were glad to be living in a time where they could see you alive and breathing with them again, smiling with them again. And they were all going to be sure that they made each second with yourself count, just in case you pulled another trick and disappeared again.

They all silently agreed to make the most of each memory with you to forget their fear of losing you for as long as they could.

After you had eaten, the rest of the day seemed to pass you by much faster than the morning, as if time was trying to make up for the hours you had lost during the battle. You went from eating together with everyone to meeting the Queen Mother Ramonda, then being thrown into a large pool by Drax because "the magic man said this one needed a bath", and then being escorted to a free room with an actual bath so you could wash up and change into new clothes.

As good as the warm water felt on your body, you wanted to go back to exploring the palace and spending more time with everyone, so you showered in a record 5 minutes and quickly pulled on the clothes Shuri had laid out for you.

Soon after dressing, Shuri was showing you and Peter around her lab, seeing as you all got bored of the Avengers and Guardians discussing what they were going to do about the public address SHIELD wanted to do. In truth, you had all just sat down when Tony groaned about doing a public address about the recent events, and immediately got up to leave.

Currently, Shuri was showing you and Peter some of her various gadgets and tech she had created in the recent years after explaining the Black Panther suit and its abilities thanks to the Vibranium when Peter stopped and pointed out a guard using their kimoyo beads to communicate with another.

"What are those? I would die for one of those things!" You've never seen Peter's eyes go any bigger than in this one moment (and you were the one that showed him the Hulkbuster and the other suits Tony made).

At his statement, you grinned and looked over to see Shuri making the same face, nodding to know which meme you were both about to mention together, "then perish."

"I hate both of you", Peter hid his face as the three of you laughed, happy and carefree as if the past 48 hours were never a problem and half the universe was never in danger.

You ruffled his hair before taking another look at the beads Shuri handed to the both of you, "here take these, I was going to wait until we were with everyone else, but it's fine. These are kimoyo beads, they can be used for basically anything with the right tweaks, but each one has a communication function!"

"We can keep these?" Peter was jumping in excitement, "I'm so happy I could hug you, this is so cool!"

Shuri looked at Peter like he was crazy, "We were going to give one to everyone, and there's nothing stopping you from hugging me? I mean I'm awesome and literally two feet away from you."

"You're a princess though??" Peter paused for a second before discarding whatever argument he had, "aw who cares, we're friends now."

You laughed at Peter's reaction as he pulled the two of you in for a quick hug, as he began to wonder about all of the bead's abilities, "wait...now you can both bother me all the time, is it too late to return it?"

The Princess and tech mastermind ignored Peter's last statement and rolled her eyes, talking the two of you through the basic functions as simply as she could so the two of you could be the ones answering all the questions about the gear for the Avengers.

"Shuri, these are absolutely genius creations", you beamed at the younger girl as she talked you and Peter through the functions of the specialized kimoyo beads again, "if you weren't so busy making amazing tech on your own over here, I'd bring you over to the Compound and show you all the nonsense Tony makes."

"You absolutely could do that?" Shuri gave you a look and laughed, "my brother and I can come to visit whenever I just have to convince him there's a 'serious' reason."

Peter shot her an incredulous look, eager to show his new friend around New York and the Avengers Compound, "you won't."

With that, Shuri pulled you and Peter along to where the rest of your friends had been waiting to depart, "My dear brother! So glad you're here! I was thinking we could go back to New York with the Avengers for a political visit or something, you know, since you all saved the universe, and so I can visit the city and see all of Mr. Stark's tech, and keep bothering Peter and (Y/N) of course."

Before she even finished speaking, T'Challa was already nodded his head along with her, "I was about to call you and tell you to pack for a week or so." He laughed at his sister's shocked expression before continuing, "What? Didn't expect me to be a step ahead of you? That's what happens when you three run off when we try to discuss something important."

After returning to New York in a jet from Wakanda, you saw that Director Fury and Maria were waiting on the landing strip of the Compound to welcome everyone home.

They both sported happy smiles as they saw everyone make their way out of the jet in one piece, welcoming each and every one of them back home until they caught your eye and crossed their arms, a sight you and Tony had dubbed as, "you better be in front of us right this second before we rip your head off."

You let out a small sigh at the sight and mentally prepared yourself for the scolding of a lifetime before jogging over to the two SHIELD operatives, as Bucky's and Tony's laughter calling everyone's attention to you as you reached the intimidating figures.

Fury was the first to move, letting out a small sigh before pulling you in for a quick hug, "glad you could make it back agent, and bring them all home."

Tony let out a gasp, almost offended at the contact, "please tell me the cameras got that, is this real life?"

You gave him a small nod and laughed, "what can I say, Director? Had to keep up my mission success rate and bring my family back home."

With another pat on your shoulder, Fury smiled and turned to go back inside the Compound, leaving you with the rest of the Avengers and a still glaring Maria Hill.

Before you could say anything, she punched your arm as hard as she could and pulled you into a hug, "even though you were reckless, I'm glad to see you in one piece (Y/N/N)."

Ignoring the pain in your arm, the moment Maria put her arms around you, you did the same, laughing at her tough way of showing how much she missed you, "hey now, take a deep breath, everything is fine. Everything worked out." You pulled away from the hug feeling a wet sensation on your shirt, and wiped away her tears, pointing at everyone that had helped in the battle, "look here, the Avengers are all back in one piece and reunited, and we have new friends you have to file into SHIELD’s systems as a formality, see? So many things to look forward to!"

And just like that, you ruined the cute moment with a laugh by reminding her of updating the systems with the Guardians and Strange, making Maria sigh and glare at you again, "if you pull another trick like that disappearing act I'll make sure to be the one to find you and kill you."

"Okay, I get it geez", you rubbed your arm where Hill had punched you earlier, and laughed, "no more tricks, I learned my lesson."

Satisfied by your response, Maria nodded and let Natasha link her arms with the two of you, leading the way to the common area for the Compound's first-time visitors, surprised at the sight of literal towers of fast food littering the all the kitchen surfaces.

"Courtesy of SHIELD...figured you would all be hungry from the ride and missing some good old fast food." Fury shrugged nonchalantly as he bit into his big mac as if he didn't just fulfill all of the Avenger's dreams.

"Can I just be the first one to say, I never thought I would live to see the day the common area would literally be filled to the brim with this much junk food?" Your mouth dropped at the sight and wondered if you could all even finish all the food.

Peter Quill was the next one to speak, after his stomach let out a loud growl, "finally, some good fucking food." At that, Peter (Parker), Shuri, and yourself found yourselves laughing at the unintentional reference and began to dig in, all grateful to be surrounded by friends and good, unhealthy food.

By some unknown force of nature, you had all cleared the room within the hour and made your ways to the couch (and its surrounding floor) to show Quill and the other Guardians recent (and more socially relevant) movies. It was one thing everyone had agreed on doing upon returning to the Compound after Quill had made his fifth old movie reference and tried to make it relevant. Get Out was the first one, followed by Baby Driver, Moonlight, Deadpool, La La Land, and finishing up for the night with Moana before everyone stretched and made their way to their own rooms.

Seeing how the other Avengers were quick to forget that the Guardians didn't know where they could stay, you took it upon yourself to bring them to the floor above yours where each of the rooms was empty and free for the taking, "this is your stop, each room should be set to sleep in so choose whatever one you want, and there are showers connected to each one so don't worry about that, and clothes-wise... I'm pretty sure there's a pretty decent range of comfy clothes in the closets from when Clint, Sam, Bucky, Thor, and I were banned from our own floors."

Drax was the first one to move, running to the furthest room screaming, "thank you, dirty human, now I can be far away from Quill and Gamora." You smiled at his term of endearment for you, but you silently promised you would make Strange's life a living hell for the next month for the comment.

The rest of them followed his lead, giving you a quick goodnight before choosing a room to collapse in, leaving Gamora behind.

"You know I never got to thank you."

One look at her face and you knew you were in for a long conversation, so you leaned against the wall and smiled at her, "you don't need to thank me, it's part of the job."

"If you hadn't done what you did, I would've never seen Peter or any of the others again", she mirrored you and leaned against the opposite wall, "but why were you so quick to give up your own soul?"

A sigh escaped your lips, "the truth? I used to think I couldn't keep living knowing I didn't have a chance with someone. I would rather save their smile and happiness if it meant giving up my life. I probably still would if I wasn't sure the Avengers wouldn't kill me if I did it all again."

"Wanda?" Gamora waited for you to nod before continuing, "she was mad that you didn't come back right away you know? I think she felt guilty that you returned her lover and brother but not yourself."

"I'm pretty sure most of our friends felt pretty damn guilty when I decided I wasn't going to come back", you rolled your eyes, ignoring the flashes of seeing them cry over your dead body from some other timeline or reality, "they would've moved on eventually, we're a family of heroes, it's what we have to do."

Gamora sighed at your stubbornness, "just know we're all thankful more than you know, and that they'll probably be more clingy with you for at least the next three months, it was pretty traumatic seeing them all cry and think about you before you came back."

"I know", you flashed her a tired smile and laughed, "now are you satisfied with my answers? You should catch some sleep before the Compound is alive and chaotic again in the morning."

She gave you a quick pat on the shoulder before smiling and heading down the hall towards the room Quill escaped to, "you don't have to tell me twice, goodnight (Y/N)."

You were resting in your room in the Compound mulling over your conversation with Gamora, when you heard Wanda's signature four quick knocks and yelled at her to come in.

"...(Y/N) I was hoping we could talk", Wanda closed the door behind her and stopped at the foot of your bed.

Sensing her discomfort, you pulled yourself off of your bed to put a hand on her arm, "relax Wanda, I'm here for you, what's the problem?"

"It's exactly that! You were always there for me for everything, and then with Vision and I ignored your feelings and I-" Wanda started to yell and you noticed the tears on her face.

"Hey now, Wanda it's okay, don't feel guilty over something you have no control over", you wiped the tears from her face before hugging her, "remember what I said? A life knowing you all is a life well spent, it's time I just enjoy that, and you should too."

Your own feelings for her aside, you were just glad to be alive with them. It might take some time, but that was something you had plenty of.

She was silent for a few minutes before she whispered, "Will we be okay?"

"We are okay Wanda, trust me", you showed her a soft smile even though the sight of her crying over you felt like a kick to the gut. You swore to yourself that you would make things right to her, and everyone else later.

Wanda finally looked you in the eye and wiped her tears away, "no more tricks?"

"I don't know about no more tricks", you let out a small chuckle when you saw her glare at you, "but no more disappearing acts, I'm here to stay."

You weren't sure what trick ended up bringing you back to them, but god you couldn't be happier.

Even if you weren't going to get the girl, you had a family to die for.


	5. Postscript - aka the one where you finally get the girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Postscript (P.S.) - a statement providing further information on or a sequel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> firstable, s/o to some awesome ppl that read this over once I finished it (u know who you are!!) and I do hope the rest of you enjoy it as much as they did, and as much as I enjoyed writing it!!   
> it's finally over! (at least, if you wanted the happy ending lmao)  
> I hope you enjoyed reading it, and as always, hmu @chuwaeyo on tumblr for anything  
> Cheers!

She was silent for a few minutes before she whispered, "Will we be okay?"

"We are okay Wanda, trust me," you showed her a soft smile even though the sight of her crying over you felt like a kick to the gut.

You swore to yourself that you would make things right to her, and everyone else, later. You owed them all that much at least.

Hearing you answer, Wanda finally looked you in the eye and wiped her own tears away, "no more tricks?"

"I don't know about no more tricks," you let out a small chuckle but stopped when you saw her glare at you, opting for a more soothing tone, "but no more disappearing acts, I'm here to stay."

You weren't sure what trick ended up bringing you back to them, but god you couldn't be happier.

Even if you weren't going to get the girl, you had a family to die for.

Though you were endlessly grateful that everyone was alive and well after the battle, your happiness didn't seem to last long - you couldn't help but feel suffocated in the Compound and SHIELD, everyone, friends and strangers alike, couldn't help but gravitate towards you whenever you were around.

Word had spread about your heroics through the world and the agency, diplomats from all over the world and recruits you've never spoken to before now stopping to ask you for a picture or a conversation. 

Even if you were in the middle of training, people often stopped to ask you about the Titan.

Months passed and everyone continued to hold onto the memory of the battle, of the near-loss, refusing to move past it as easily as you (thought) you did.

You missed the subtlety and simplicity of living a life with powers that had gone unnoticed for most of the modern era. You missed life without all the fame and constant eyes on you.

And as much as you loved them, even your friends had started getting on your nerves as of late.

Dragging you by your arms to random events or outings without ever explaining the reason behind the impromptu trips.

You were just so tired from the battle and no one seemed to understand that you needed space to process everything that's happened. They didn't understand or could ever understand what you went through. You would lay down your life for all them again if it meant they never had to feel the nothingness you remember each time you lay in bed and close your eyes.

You had to be strong for all of them.

You've seen empires rise and fall - events that shaped the future of mankind, you've walked on the planet longer than all your friends have been on the Earth. You had to be strong.

But now you were just so incredibly human.

The short time you've spent with them changed you.

You were no longer just an ancient being cursed to watch over the Earth and keep the balance between good and evil in the universe. You have a human heart now.

A heart that loves and aches; a heart that feels and breaks; a heart that creates a plague from every negative thought you ever had and makes it all hurt more.

You loved spending more quality time with all your friends, but the constant company did more bad than good now, tiring you out more than you already were, not giving you time to process anything that's happened.

Who knew a near-immortal could ever be so tired?

You sighed as you saw the sun peeking out over the horizon and pulled your tired body up from your bed and into your bathroom to hide any evidence of another sleepless night. 

Standing in front of the mirror, you couldn't help but notice how shriveled your figure seemed to be. The once happy-go-lucky, semi-mysterious, and ever-confident friend of Avengers was nowhere to be found.   
All that was looking back at you was an old soldier, too suited for battle, that finally coming home and being safe was a foreign concept. 

You weren't sure if you deserved it after all your deceptions and tricks.

"No more tricks or disappearing acts, huh?" You made yourself smile and couldn't recognize the overly (fake) happy person staring at you in the mirror, sighing at the sight and dropping your smile, "don't even think that could help me with how I feel right now."

Once you were showered and hid all evidence of exhaustion from your face, you wandered around the Compound, wondering if any of your friends had woken up as early as you had for once, not surprised to hear nothing in the halls.

However, to your surprise, you were met with Vision taking in the sights of the city as you entered the roof of the Compound with a steaming cup of tea in your hands to soothe your nerves, "morning Viz, mind some company?"

"Of course, (Y/N)." Hearing your voice, he immediately left his spot against the railing and turned to sit at the table with you. "I don't think I ever thanked you for what you've done, I truly am grateful."

"Don't worry about it, buddy. We're heroes, aren't we? Always doing things for the greater good and whatnot?" You flashed a tired smile before blowing on your tea and taking a small sip, not realizing he was thanking you for giving him a chance with Wanda, putting her happiness above your own.

"I suppose I am thankful for that as well." As you blew on and drank your tea, Vision continued to watch you with a neutral expression until he furrowed his brows, "(Y/N), your vitals are not in peak condition, how long have you been in this state?"

The statement made you stop. 

You set down your cup and steadied your thoughts so Vision couldn't notice how anxious you were, "I don't know what you mean, I'm just not getting enough sleep lately, that's all."

"Your stress levels are similar to those of Sergeant Barnes as he transitioned from the Winter Soldier, are you sure that is the only issue?" Vision's voice became more concerned with each second as he continued to analyze your vitals and other internal levels, and while you weren't the closest on the team, the both of you were still concerned with how the other was doing. "Are you possibly still suffering from the effects of the battle with Thanos?"

"Absolutely not." You gripped the handle on your cup and took another slow sip as you tried to remain cool and collected. "I'm fine, I've been fine since the battle. I came out alive, remember? We all did."

Seeing how you were slowly becoming agitated, Vision dropped the subject and nodded, making a mental note to keep an eye out for you in case things made a turn for the worst.

You knew it was only a matter of time the others began to ask questions if Vision saw all your vitals. Even though he agreed to drop the subject you knew he would continue to look after you.

You had to do something to get better. 

Anything.

Which is why you found yourself walking into the SHIELD offices, walking too fast and pretending to be on urgent business to avoid others from stopping you, heading straight into Fury's office, seeing Maria's was empty, presumably to be checking on the training of the latest group of recruits.

"Hey Sir, could I ask for a favor?" You leaned against the doorway and smiled when Fury waved you in.

Waiting until you took a seat in front of his desk, Fury watched you with a careful eye and a small smile, "with all the good work you've done, I think the least I can do is listen."

Hearing he wasn't refusing outright eased some of the apprehension you felt, but you couldn't help but continue to be nervous as you forced your request out, "could I have a week or two for vacation? Alone? Everyone's been suffocating me lately and I just want some peace and quiet...so I don't know, I can process things more, maybe get some sleep."

"I see." The Director dropped his smile and continued to watch you carefully, not wanting to overstep or make you uncomfortable by questioning you, "I suppose now you understand how annoying all of them can be?"

You couldn't help but laugh and be thankful he didn't pry more, "I've always known, sir, it's just worse than usual. I think you would absolutely explode if you had to deal with even a fraction of how everyone's been these past few months."

"Well, you don't need to convince me more than you already have." Fury let out a gruff laugh and smiled, "anywhere you plan to go? Need to commandeer a jet or safehouse? Or are you just going to use your hidden magical powers, hmm?"

"Aw, come on, sir, when are you going to drop it, I got everyone back safe didn't I?" You couldn't help but mirror his small smile, "but safehouse wise, does the agency have any in a cliche vacation spot like Hawaii? I think the islands and air will do me some good."

"Of course, agent, let me give you the information right now." Fury turned away from you and began to type on his computer to bring up the information, quickly printing a coded version so you could have a physical copy, stopping only when he handed it off to you. "I can tell your team that you're off on a solo mission and had to leave right away, but you should talk to Hill, I think it would do you some good, (Y/N)."

Seeing the genuine care on his face made the anxiousness you felt ease away, smiling and giving him a small salute as you stood up and turned to leave, "of course, sir, and thank you."

"She should be at the training grounds with the recruits putting them through sparring." 

With that, you gave him one last nod before running off to Maria, eager to see your friend now that your heart didn't feel as heavy, smiling widely the moment you got to the training grounds to see half the recruits laying on the floor in exhaustion, while the other half were eagerly waiting for their turn to spar.

Once you stepped onto the grounds, heads were already turned and pointing your arrival out, quickly pulling Maria out of the serious evaluation mode she used for the recruits. 

"Agent Hill! I hope it's not too much of a bother, but I was hoping I could steal you away from our recruits to have a word before I leave on a mission?" You laughed as you noticed some of the recruits watching you with wide eyes, shocked that you could address her so freely.

But knowing you weren't allowed on the field for the rest of the year (to rest), Maria watched you with careful eyes but smiled nonetheless before letting the recruits free to take a water break. "A mission? You and I both know you're not cleared for missions yet."

"Yeah, but the others don't and that's the excuse Fury is letting me use." You crossed your arms and leaned against the wall to talk comfortably with her. "I feel suffocated Maria, most nights I have nightmares if I get any sleep at all. I need to leave for a little while, just to clear my head and start anew I think."

"So you're saying goodbye?" Her words came off harsh, unintentionally hurting you, though you know she was just worried. "After everything, you're just going to run off? For how long, when, where?"

You couldn't deny that this was just a way you could run away and avoid your problems. But it could also help you get better, even Fury thought so.

"Heading to one of the Hawaiian islands for a few weeks, whichever one is home to the safehouse Fury gave me. And I was going to leave after I talked to you. I couldn't have you thinking I pulled another disappearing act, right?" You tried to lighten the mood and grinned, keeping your eyes off of Maria to watch the recruits and make sure none of them were wandering too close to listen in.

"Just be safe and please talk to me if you need anything, Natasha and Bucky too, okay? We're here for you." Maria let out a small sigh and pulled you into a tight hug before whispering a light threat into your ear, "I will not hesitate to haul your ass out of Hawaii if you don't keep in contact or try to run away."

"Of course, Maria, I already know all three of you would drag me from paradise without hesitating." You relished in the contact and laughed before opening your eyes and realizing the horde of shocked recruits watching the two of you, "now I think you should let go before the recruits lose their minds."

Though you walked into the agency that morning tired and with a heavy heart and mind, you couldn't help but feel lighter knowing you were going to finally have some peace and quiet, and hopefully move past the thoughts that have continued to plague you since the battle.

The Avengers were at a loss hearing that you would be gone for the next three weeks, surprised that you were cleared for a solo mission before any of them after fighting Thanos, but no one wanted to question or anger the Director, keeping their complaints inside the walls of the Compound.

Now that you were gone, the halls felt empty without your light laughter and constant teasing echoing through the floors.

They were reminded once again that you were their light and home, and wondered if you were really okay after the battle.

Or if you were just putting on a strong facade and pulling the wool over their eyes again as you suffered alone.

Wanda couldn't help but feel guilty and heavy as she wandered the halls of the Compound towards Vision, thinking about their relationship and everything they've been through together, and thinking about her feelings for you she spent so much time and energy pushing down and ignoring. 

"Viz, can we talk?" She looked downcast in the doorway of Vision's room, walking in once he looked up and nodded for her to come in.

One look at her, and Vision already knew how she felt, and what she was going to say, it was one of the perks of being an android (and having the Mind Stone, of course). "Wanda, my dear, it's okay. You already lost them once, I'm sure you don't want to lose them again."

"Thank you, Viz. I don't know what to say." Wanda smiled as her eyes brimmed with light tears, "you're the best."

Taking a lesson straight from your book, Vision simply grinned, and joked, "I think telling Bruce, and Banner I am smarter than them would suffice, Wanda."

"Of course." And for the first time since Thanos, they both felt so light and unafraid and ready for whatever else the future held for them.

Upon returning to the Compound with a lighter heart and happy smile, you let yourself get tackled by your friends the moment they saw you enter the common area, laughing as the hug gradually turned into a large dogpile with you stuck at the very bottom.

Having time alone was nice of course, but nothing could ever beat coming home to those you love. The familiarity and comfort of knowing they were waiting and ecstatic to see you again warming your heart even more.

The rest of the afternoon was spent squeezed onto the couch underneath the large (and structurally sound) pillow-fort Bruce and Tony were able to create in front of the television for an impromptu movie night to celebrate your return home.

But as night arrived, each of you slowly left the fort and made way for your own rooms (leaving Bucky and Sam knocked out in the center of it all in each other's arms - making for a quality embarrassing blackmail picture). Though the whole afternoon had exhausted you, you were wide awake and sat beside your window, gazing up at the starry sky when Wanda knocked on your door and let herself in.

You couldn't help but notice Wanda's hands tightly clenched, shaking by her sides as she opened her mouth, "I love you, (Y/N). I love you so much, and I feel like the biggest fool for not realizing before. When you walked into that portal with Thanos, I was so sure I would never see you again I felt so lost. I thought it was because I just lost Vision, and then you too. But, even when you brought him back to me, and when you brought Pietro back to me, I couldn't help but notice the emptiness I still felt inside me... "

Hearing her confession made you stop, your breath stuck in your throat in disbelief at the words. You had to be dreaming, right?

There's no way, that after everything that's happened, after all the tricks and lying you did to your friends to protect them, there's no way she would really love you...

Right?

"I love you so much that I was so mad that you decided by yourself that you were going to sacrifice your own life just so we could all live. I couldn't believe that you just decided you weren't going to be a part of my life anymore. Of all our lives." Wanda stared at you fiercely, the same kind of determined fire in her eyes when she wanted the last dumpling or wanted to pick the last movie of the night.

You could tell by her eyes she wasn't lying, but you had to be sure.

You don't think your heart can handle this kind of trick after all.

"Is this some kind of trick, Wanda?" Hearing your own voice ask the question sounded strange, no longer afraid of skirting around the subject.

She would never trick you like this, of course, Wanda was always too kind and unsure in her own actions to even think about tricking others the way you did, but you couldn't help but wonder...

"I know how it might seem, but you know I would never do something like that, you're always the one pulling tricks aren't you?" The accusation brought a grin to her face as she let out a small laugh before returning to a low whisper, her face inching closer to your own until you felt her breath on your lips. "I really do love you, I think I have since you made me feel at home here. It shouldn't have taken you almost dying for me to realize this."

Not wasting any more time, you both kissed each other greedily, pulling apart only when you both needed air. The love in her eyes and flushed cheeks were just more proof along with the kiss that it was real, that you survived. That you were here with her.

Wanda sparked something in you that you thought you threw out eons ago, she brought out the love in you.

Remembering you still haven't answered her, you smiled and thought back to the last words you spoke during the battle all those months ago, "some are worth sacrificing yourself for. And I've had enough running away for thousands of lifetimes, I love you, Wanda. A life spent knowing you, has been a life well spent, but a life loving you? Now that is a life worth living."


End file.
